And So It Begins

I keep finding myself checking the clock. Ugh. Seven hours left on this flight. Seven hours of breathing in the recycled air of hundreds of other people. Seven hours of fighting my urge to sleep.

Seven hours until I see my birthmother again.

I’m hoping that my built-up feelings of anxiety, nerves, fear, and whatever, will dissipate once I see her at the airport. Once I’m able to wrap my arms around the woman who gave me life.

It’s weird knowing that I’m going to spend the next undetermined amount of time with a woman, who for all intents and purposes, is a stranger to me. I feel pressure to bond with her and start some amazing relationship with her. It’s hard not to put that pressure on myself, but alas, that’s what I’m best at.

I have to keep telling myself… no expectations. Just focus on this amazing opportunity and cherish every moment.

Only 6.5 more hours.

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5 Responses to And So It Begins

  1. Crispin says:

    I need to read up on your past posts, or discuss with you – about how you came to know your birth mother. If it was a fairly recent meeting for the first time? Did your mom and your birth mother stay in contact all your life?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pam says:

    Praying you’ll find God’s best along your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cara Miller says:

    Crispin, sure–let’s do it!

    In the meantime, I met her back in 2012 for the first time. It started after I initiated the process to find her when I visited Korea in 2010 with some friends. I visited the adoption agency, went through my paperwork, and wrote a letter that the agency would share with the last known address they had on file with her.

    An interesting tidbit: there is only a 3% success rate when it comes to finding birthparents. And a “success” is finding them and they don’t want to meet you. Not only did I find her, but she (and the whole family) wanted to meet me.

    Like

  4. Kelly Hoffman says:

    Cara I am so proud of you venturing on this journey. As a fellow adoptee I understand the importance to know where we started and who gave us life. I applaud your bravery at making this trek and sharing your journey with your friends and family. I will be so interested to continue to read about your experiences. Hugs to you!

    Like

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